SOCS: an inspired post about my controllers

I read a post tonight, that I’ll link to after I finish streaming. It was all about the controllers in our lives. Things that run us, while we naively think we are running them. This particular post talked about a child’s “addiction” (I don’t really think it was all that severe) to video games, but mentioned that physical controllers are not the only controllers.

In my life, I have let controllers choose my path. Let them alter my destiny. I’ve let shame, embarrasment and fear control me. I’ve let food, and fat and pain control me. I’ve let self destruction control me. I’ve let these things alter my destiny and and hold me back and keep me from getting where I know I can be.

Over the past year, I’ve had a major paradigm shift. I’ve altered my mind and remembered who I am and just what I am capable of. I have finally reached a point of taking back control I’m not completely in control of every thing in my life, but I’m winning it back a day at a time.

And in the process, I’m getting back to blogging, back to cooking, back to living and just being me. I’m getting to remember just what it is in my life that I love, and making those things priority.

Things are starting to feel right again, and it’s because I’m actually choosing the way I want things to be.

*****

The post that inspired my SOCS post can be found here.

*****

This was my 5 minute Stream of Consciousness Sunday post, hosted by All Things Fadra. It’s five minutes of your time and a brain dump. Want to try it? Here are the rules…

  • Set a timer and write for 5 minutes.
  • Write an intro to the post if you want but don’t edit the post. No proofreading or spellchecking. This is writing in the raw.
  • Publish it somewhere. Anywhere. The back door to your blog if you want. But make it accessible.
  • Add the Stream of Consciousness Sunday badge to your post.
  • Link up your post below.
  • Visit your fellow bloggers and show some love.
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4 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. definingmydash
    Jan 23, 2012 @ 06:19:10

    Thanks for reading my blog and I am very glad that you found it thought provoking! I enjoyed reading yours. We have a lot in common because this year is about me getting back to all the things I love too after a year of deep depression! Blessings to you my friend as we walk on this journey and take back our lives!

    Reply

    • ashlee2012
      Jan 24, 2012 @ 13:28:00

      I, too, have battled with depression. I can absolutely relate to you on that note, but am so proud that you are taking charge and taking your life back! That’s what it is all about! Thanks for stopping by, and for sharing your experiences with others 🙂

      Reply

  2. Fadra
    Jan 29, 2012 @ 01:02:08

    Wow. All I can say is if you keep this up, you are in for an awesome rest-of-your-life.

    Reply

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